Soooooooo........this is what we are moving into in 3 weeks! Can't believe it! Pee in my pants excited are the only words that come to mind when I think of it. Enjoy the pic. More to come...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Pack Rat Life
There is something that has been holding me back...holding me back from being myself, being close to others, letting others in, meeting new people, forming relationships, having a productive life, being free, being a Godly example for others and myself, allowing people to see God through me, allowing God to use me and fulfill my purpose...
Fear and most of all Myself.
You see I have been living a Pack Rat life. On the outside it looks like I embrace change with open arms but on the inside I have been living in the past instead of going forward. It doesn't matter how much wisdom I have and the things I know I need to change; as long as I make a choice to do nothing about it I'll just keep going farther and farther from where I am suppose to be. The hole has become deep and wide and last night I decided that I am tired, tired of it all and allowing my fear to have control. Its not that I'm not happy. Its not that I don't know how blessed I am. Its not that I don't know what I should be and am thankful for. Its not that the smiles on my face are fake. Its that I know there's something missing. Its that I know who I was when my relationship with God was strong and solid and when I didn't hold back from what he wanted to do in my life.
So starting last night I made a choice to stop living in the past. Stop saying I hate change. Stop being afraid of what lies ahead. Stop hanging on to past friendships and start making new ones. Stop only letting the people who knew me best being the only ones who do. Stop letting fear of change control my life.
For me this is a huge challenge. A struggle I have been dealing with all my life. Its not the easiest and not always comfortable and safe but I know that God has my back and will guide me. I can't do this alone anymore.
The definition of CHANGE: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
Fear and most of all Myself.
You see I have been living a Pack Rat life. On the outside it looks like I embrace change with open arms but on the inside I have been living in the past instead of going forward. It doesn't matter how much wisdom I have and the things I know I need to change; as long as I make a choice to do nothing about it I'll just keep going farther and farther from where I am suppose to be. The hole has become deep and wide and last night I decided that I am tired, tired of it all and allowing my fear to have control. Its not that I'm not happy. Its not that I don't know how blessed I am. Its not that I don't know what I should be and am thankful for. Its not that the smiles on my face are fake. Its that I know there's something missing. Its that I know who I was when my relationship with God was strong and solid and when I didn't hold back from what he wanted to do in my life.
So starting last night I made a choice to stop living in the past. Stop saying I hate change. Stop being afraid of what lies ahead. Stop hanging on to past friendships and start making new ones. Stop only letting the people who knew me best being the only ones who do. Stop letting fear of change control my life.
For me this is a huge challenge. A struggle I have been dealing with all my life. Its not the easiest and not always comfortable and safe but I know that God has my back and will guide me. I can't do this alone anymore.
The definition of CHANGE: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
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