La Di Da

Right now I am overly exhausted and I know I need to go to bed but for some reason I making my body stay up. I guess because even though I just had a wonderful weekend spending time with my family and baking cookies until we dropped (literally for me) I feel like I haven't really had a weekend. I think I am trying to postpone the inevitable...going to work tomorrow morning!!! I love my job and I know and have not over looked the fact that I am truly blessed to even have a job and especially one that I love. With that said I still hate work. Okay so hates a strong word. I truly dislike working period!!! Now with that said I know there are many many people out there who have worked until their little hearts are content and I should probably stop right now before I start complaining but I just have to get this off my chest. :-) Work makes my life a routine. I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to be there at 8, then I sit on my butt for almost eight hours straight, then I come home and Michael or I make dinner, then we clean, then we might have an hour or two to watch TV and then we go to bed and start all over again. Errrggghhh!!! I am only 22 and I am already wanting to retire! I know I know welcome to the real world. I mean at least with school you got a break at some point but with work it just keeps going until your 70. I think I just need a vacation!

Okay so I am done complaining. It's off my chest and now I am going to look at this situation in a positive way and stop being so negative and depressing.

Thank you God for my wonderful job! Okay now I am going to bed. :-)

Me...

HE said You have so much to give...

I said I know...

HE said You have so much to give...

I said I'm scared...

HE said You have so much to give...

I said why do I all the sudden have an overwhelming peace within me...?

HE said You have so much to give...

I said I feel you. Why can't I feel you all the time...?

HE said You have so much to give...

I said I'm not sure...

HE said You have so much to give...

I said I don't know how...

HE said You have so much to give...

I said I KNOW...

HE said why are You not giving it?

Brain Dump

- Cannot believe Thanksgiving is almost two weeks away! Where has the year gone?

- December 7th will be our 6 month Anniversary... Again, where has the year gone?

- Would like my body better if it was more in shape and firm and did not have any fat on it!

- Kind of struggling with how to figure out how to pay for Christmas gifts, 2 I-Phones and decorations for our apartment. SIGH

- So need more jeans... Only have two pair. One does not fit me that well and the other one has a hole in the knee because I have worn them so much. Another Sigh

- Evaluations are coming up at work. I am excited because I need feedback to know how I am doing but I also know I will be really nervous when that day comes. Although a raise is definitely coming my way I have been told! :-)

- Going to visit my sister this weekend... YAY! I am very excited. I have not seen or talked to her in a while and I miss her so much! Definitely major catching up to do.

- Need to start my Christmas shopping. It is sneaking up on me and its sneaking up on me fast!

- We basically have decided that we are moving at the end of our lease. This will be the 6th time I will be moving since 2004 when I moved to Charlotte to go to college... Oh Lord help me!

- Michael and I have also decided a work out plan:
~ Wake up at 4:45 in the morning
~ Start work out at 5 am for an hour
~ Come back at 6 am
~ Get ready for work
~ Leave for work
~ Normal routine throughout the day
~ Go to bed at 9
~ Start all over again
Yeah... Let's actually call this the "Kill Me Now" plan. We will need lots of prayer and dedication. Wait! Positive attitude. We can do it! We got this! :-) :-(

- The Holidays are so busy for us. Lots of traveling on the weekends and spending time with family. I am excited

- Why do I always crave chocolate... and I mean ALWAYS! It's like an addiction.

- We just got a king size bed from Michael's family. It is so huge! I feel like I am in a sea of bed but I LOVE it!

- Really can't wait till I get time off from work and that is not including weekends.

- So glad the election is over. The commercials/ads were driving me crazy!!! So glad I don't have to hear "I am ... and I approve this message" anymore!

- Too many shows to watch on TV.

- How in the world do I all the sudden like Red Wine???

- Reading a book called "Rachel's Tears." Learning a lot about this young girls life before she was killed in the Columbine High School shooting. She had so much for passion for God and to have a relationship with him. How do I get to that point where no one else matters but Him?

- Hope this week goes by fast. Already ready for Friday!

Have a great week! :-)

Who's in Control?

The election this year was extremely hard for me. I could not decide whose name I would give my vote to and put my faith in for the upcoming four years. Granted, politics has never been and never will be my cup of tea but that has never stopped me from knowing who I would give my vote to! I was very much torn between the two candidates this year. Not only that, there became an overwhelming sense of importance, concern and worry for me whose feet would land and be planted in the highest office for America. I have always known the importance of voting but I never expected that importance to turn into fear. This year it did!

I feel that God had placed something inside of me this time around. Something in my spirit was stirring. I am still not sure what that feeling is but I do know that God never intended it to turn into frustration and judgement because of fear. I was reminded of that when I received an email from my Aunt Angie. It was titled "Who's in Control?" My mind finally went YES a point of view of this election from a Godly perspective and that's exactly what it was. In the email was a verse from Isaiah 40:

21 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

Has it not been told you from the beginning?

Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,

and its people are like grasshoppers.

He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,

and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

23 He brings princes to naught

and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

24 No sooner are they planted,

no sooner are they sown,

no sooner do they take root in the ground,

than he blows on them and they wither,

and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

25 "To whom will you compare me?

Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them each by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,

and complain, O Israel,

"My way is hidden from the Lord;

my cause is disregarded by my God?"

28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 But those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary;

they will walk and not be faint.

"To God be the Glory and may we rest in Him knowing that no one comes to power on this earth without His permission and for His purposes."

- Aunt Angie

The whole time I was praying for God to show me who to vote for it was like I was expecting him to make the decision for me or to show me who the "right person" was for President. In the process of waiting for him to answer me the frustration and judgement inside of me kept growing stronger. The verse above and the email that I received was his answer to me. It reminded me that no matter who I think is the right or wrong candidate God already has them chosen. Instead of me looking to count on them to lead and be the leader of America he wants me to look to him and put my trust and faith in him. The verse above reminds me that he is my leader, our leader, our Presidents leader, America's leader, the world's leader.

I have a whole new perspective now. That feeling inside still remains but instead of it being fear it is now peace knowing that whatever God has in store for this country and the world he is in control. It is still important for me to always vote for who I think the President should be for everyone needs to know what they stand for. However, regardless of who steps foot in that office whether I voted for them or not they will always be in my prayers and have my respect. I will not be looking to them to lead but I will be looking to God to lead them.

Me...

I have been blessed with an amazing and large and loving family...

I have not yet had to face a death in my family...

How do I accept and understand that that day will come? Why does it have to? These people mean so much to me why do they one day have to leave? I know it has not happened yet but I know that day is coming and don't like it. Why can't things just stay the way they are?

For now these thoughts are pushed away and I am going to focus on changing me... Need to see my Grandparents, need to spend time with them. Need is going to change into Will starting today... Can't let them go without showing them how much I love and care for them as well.

~LEGACY~

"I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

And I enjoy an accolade like the rest

You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery

Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best

At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights

We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'

But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides

The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things?

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile

To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy

It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile

Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace whoblessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred

Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one... "

I read a blog earlier today and it was basically talking about when you walk out your door what does the world see? What does everyone around you in your everyday life see? What example do you lay before everyone? What kind of display are you to everyone else?

It's so easy to ask others these questions but sooo not to ask myself! I ask myself if I was displayed on a wall or a shelf or in a pretty antique cabinet how would you view me? Hmmm tough question that I definitely do not have the answer to. However, I do know how I would like for you to view me. I would like to leave Legacy inside everyone that is a part of my life (of course) but more importantly for myself and God. I would like to display myself as a Godly, loyal, humble, compassionate, kind, loving, selfless, forgiving, accepting woman who walks out that front door and shines of these qualities everyday. I also know that starts with me and the decisions I make everyday.

When I read that blog today it made me remember the song above and how important it is to me to leave a Legacy, this kind of Legacy.

Would you like to leave a Legacy? If so what kind of Legacy do you want to leave?

Confessions of an Official Book Worm

Okay so how should I say this...um... I have a secret and I have decided that I am going to shall I say come out of the closet, come clean, drop the bomb, let it go, CoNfEsS! Okay all my fellow bloggers are you ready...

I am completely and totally absolutely head over hills in love with READING! Yep I said it reading... I know I know shocker!

Okay maybe not a shocker but for me it is because nearly three months ago I despised reading. I discovered my new found love at work. You see my position where I work is a receptionist and I am stuck sitting at a desk and cannot move for almost eight straight hours. Except for two 15 minute breaks and an one hour lunch break. There are definitely times where it can get pretty boring! I learned that the receptionist before me brought magazines and/or books to keep herself occupied when things were slow so I decided to do the same and WA-LAH book worm born!

Through these slow moments at work I have learned that I love Nicholas Sparks, thrillers, James Patterson, several Christian life learning books, and especially my favorite Memoirs! So if any of you bloggers out there share my interest and love reading please by all means share... I would love to hear about books that you think are awesome!

Thanks in advance!
Sincerely,
Your Fellow Book Worm

What's Your #1 Greatest Fear...?

What is your #1 fear? Heights, Spiders, Public Speaking, death? 

I think we all have been asked this question some point in life.  Whether it's in a survey or in a classroom or like me just in the shower while random thoughts are running through my head.  I know weird right? Thinking of my greatest fear while I am getting a shower? Trust me I don't understand where my brain is either most of the time! :-) Anyways, I was thinking to myself that death/dying is usually the #1 greatest fear but for me it is not death, it is not public speaking (although that does run pretty close to second).  For me it is dying and never seeing the ones I love again.  I know that when I die I will go to heaven but will I ever see my family, my husband, my friends again? I know the world is nothing compared to Heaven and living eternally with God.  Is it fair to have a request when I get to heaven and that request being my husband, family, friends still the same? Or will it be completely different? I don't know and going to Heaven for me is definitely not sad but not having the ones I love is.  

I do know to give this to God and ask him to take complete control over this fear.  I do know having a relationship with him and trusting him with everything is in enough for me.  Fear can be overwhelming and seem bigger than myself and scary and sad but it is very small compared to my relationship with God. 

Brain Dump... Good Idea

I have read a few blogs where they have a brain dump for that week or that day.  I think that is a fantabulous idea and so I am now going to do the same.

- Pee in my pants excited to get my Blue Cross Blue Shield card with the CORRECT information on it.  WOW been a long time coming! 

- Need to become a better cook or wait… First, actually become a cook.  Love that my hubby cooks dinner almost every night but I guess since I’m a woman I feel I am not doing my duty and it’s driving me crazy.

- Have you seen the Jack in the Box commercial for smoothies? Hilarious!

-Really I mean REALLY wish I had a brain that can visualize because if I did I am pretty sure our apartment would be or almost be completely decorated.  Also, pretty sure it would look amazing! 

- Cannot wait to go on my date with my hubby tomorrow night! Even though we see each other every night and we don’t have children yet I have learned that you have to have a date night! Keep the romance alive baby!

-Wish money fell off trees.

-Wish we could find a Wii Fit.  Would be really convenient.  Personal Trainer would be even better… maybe one day.

-Would like to start getting involved in a ministry of some sort.

-Miss my family and friends.

-I wish my home was alive so it would clean and wash clothes itself.  

-So excited to help my sister move in her new apartment in Raleigh in two weeks! Would be so nice if she was here but I am very excited for her.

-Have to write Thank You Cards! I know, sad.

-Too many shows to watch.  By the by, Fringe is awesome! Kind of freaky but awesome!

-Have a wanting to read my Bible more often…laziness always gets in the way.  

-I am addicted to laziness and chocolate.  They both need to disappear! Okay maybe not chocolate but DEFINITELY laziness! 

-Our marriage/relationship consist of three.  God, Michael and I.  Need to build a relationship with each other through God and build a relationship with each other with God every day.

-Little children are so cute.  Okay NO not yet! Realistic thoughts…children turn into adults…yep not ready!

Learn Through People

So hopefully I can paint a vivid picture for you.  I work in a 6 story building.  I am on the 6th floor and I sit at a very large desk that is out in the lobby.  Therefore when you get off the elevator and you turn your head left or right (depends on which elevator you get off) you will definitely see me.  I see and hear everyone and everything.  I love it because ever since I started working there I have met so many interesting and amazing people who pass by me every day.  I think I know more people than some who have been working at Compass Group for several years.  It’s really been very helpful for me.  Anyways, I love watching people.  No not in a stalker type manner.  In a I have learned and grown into who I am in someway just by watching people type manner…

 

There is this older gentleman who comes every Friday. I call him Refrigerator Guy (because I am not sure what his name is) and he cleans the refrigerators.  Every time he steps off the elevator our usual exchange is how are you? I always respond “I’m good, thank you!” He responds “I’m vertical.” To me a response like that can have so many meanings and is so interesting.  To me a response like that has wisdom behind it…

 

There is another older gentleman who works on printers.  He always comes by and brings the assistant to the CEO of the company Pralines or something tasty.  He offers me one as well and I listen every time when he ask if Gay (the assistant) is in the office even though I already know the answer to his question.  Through his actions I learn routine, predictability, warmth, comfort, happiness, and I smile every time he comes.  

 

There is a lady who is blind and Compass hired her despite her disability.  This may sound weird but I could watch her all day and learn so much just from watching her.  When I see her I do watch her and I see someone who could teach me so much about life.  

 

People are so interesting (this goes for me as well) but when I sit back and observe I learn so much.  It’s just amazing! 

Hello Blog World... Yes I am a Newby!

It seems that everyone around me (not everyone) but a lot of people have blogs.  So I decided to join those lots of people and try to become a blogger myself.  So I am here sitting in my apartment on my lazy butt while my husband is downtown working trying to figure this whole “design your blog thing” out.  Usually I am pretty good a figuring technology out but tonight my inner technology guru self is just not there.  Now I am sure I know how my mom feels.  Although, I still feel she ask questions for (it seems) the simplest things when it comes to technology!  Tonight I have learned a lesson… Be patient with my mother when she does not know how to do anything technological because everything is not simple and yelling at the computer will not help me with my blog decor!